So here we are traveling again. Again!? Well yes, one more time, but this time it is not a leisure trip. So recently my family traveled to celebrate the 4th of July. There were some bad spots where common sense was forgotten, which as you may remember I was not jazzed about. Granted there were more good times than bad, and I even learned a cool perk/travel hack with Southwest. While traveling for the 4th was expected, this trip was not something I planned this soon.
This time there are no fireworks or fun trips around a peninsula. In fact this trip is more somber and contemplative as we are going to memorialize a family member. It is not as bad as it sounds, I mean it is still bad, but there is some peace here that I was not expecting. Regardless, tomorrow I have to come face-to-face with the truth that my grandfather, has passed away.
The Unexpected Part…
I think the hardest part of this for me, and for anyone else is that we did not see this coming. Seriously, if I had known this was coming, boy would my last five years of life look different. I know we are limited to our time here, the Bible is clear about that in Genesis and a few other places. But in this case, we were nowhere near 120, so I personally did not expect this. This was not something I planned this soon, in fact in my mind this was not coming for another 20 years minimum. Yet here I sit, a few hundred miles from home preparing for tomorrow.
What happened was medical, and again not expected in the least bit. What started as a stomach ache, quickly turned into a multitude of things. In some way, deep down, I blame the hospital. Sadly their staff’s negligence did add to the end result, and they come off free and clean in this. Logically and Spiritually I know that it was time, otherwise I would not have happened. I also know that in the end, it was peaceful and quick, so there was no suffering. While helpful, it does not take away the sting.
The Expected Part…
While as I pointed out, this was not something I planned this soon, I did know it was coming. My grandfather would even tell you this was coming, because he knew. A few years before I got married I made a comment about no big life events left. My grandfather reminded me I have plenty of big life moments left, but he did not. In fact to quote him, “I have one major life event left, I just don’t know when”. His faith played a huge part in his comfort with knowing there was one thing left. In a way, I feel like each time he made a statement like this, he was preparing us for this weekend.
The Peace of It…
I believe that the expected part, where my grandfather kept mentioning the end, ultimately has helped with some of the peace about this. Do not get me wrong, the Holy Spirit has been doing some massive peace keeping lately too. It also helps knowing we will meet again. As a Christian, I believe Jesus Christ came and died for our sins, and that through His salvation we can have eternal life. Meaning that one day, when my numbered days have run out, I will join him again in heaven. There is something peaceful in that knowledge, and something almost happy.
I mean imagine, the next time I see my grandfathers, we will be in the Kingdom of God. Life in that moment will be perfect for us, and everyone else who is there. Can you imagine? It’s hard to for sure. Peace sadly does not take away the pain, and there is plenty of that to go around. The pain of a seeming loss, the pain of watching those around me grieve, and the pain myself of grieving. Add to this some stuff going on in counseling, and is now one really tense week for me.
Wrapping It Up…
No, there are no cheesy puns to “shill” for a company that has not sponsored this post. I am working through this, even as I type this. It is hard, and will continue to be hard, but we are going to get through this and we are going to be okay. I am going to be okay. In a way I have hobbies and studying to focus on when I need a distraction. And, my wife is seriously stepping in to help me in any way she can. I definitely married up, and I recommend it for anyone else! In the meantime, we keep moving forward and the earth keeps spinning.
Before I completely wrap this up, let me ask you. Do you know where you go if something you did not planned happens? If not, I encourage and invite you to read a little more about what I have talked about. One excellent resource for reading and learning online is Bible.com.
This is how you might just wind up All Hat, with No Cattle…